Let’s just be honest for a second — positive thinking can feel like utter nonsense when life’s kicking you in the teeth.I know that’s not the polished, Instagrammable quote you’re probably used to seeing… but it’s real.When you’re stressed, overwhelmed, and everything feels like it’s hanging on by a thread, being told to “just think positively” is like telling someone gasping for air to “just breathe deeper.”It’s not helpful. It’s infuriating. And it can make you feel like you’re failing at something else — your mindset.So let’s pull back the curtain on why positive thinking feels like a lie, and more importantly, what actually works when you feel stuck, burnt out, or like you’re living the same grey day on repeat.<h1 id="2cbd784e-9498-49be-9dc9-3ada0e3c45fe" data-toc-id="2cbd784e-9498-49be-9dc9-3ada0e3c45fe">The Positive Thinking Problem No One Talks About</h1>We’re constantly told that “Your mindset shapes your reality”, and in theory, that’s not wrong. But here’s where it becomes dangerous…When you’re broke, burnt out, and doubting yourself — simply thinking positively doesn’t get you out of the hole.In fact, it can make things worse.Why? Because when that happy-clappy mindset advice doesn't land, you start to believe there’s something wrong with you.“Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough.” “Maybe I’m the problem.” “Everyone else seems to be managing just fine.”That’s where I found myself in my twenties. I lost my business. I lost my house. I lost a lot of people I thought would be in my corner forever. And I ended up living in a caravan… parked at the bottom of my nan’s driveway.That’s not an exaggeration. That’s where I was.And one particular day, I was sat in front of a bank manager, deep in debt, looking for some advice or empathy — and all he said was:“Well, you’re young. You’ll bounce back.”Thanks, mate.I didn’t feel like I was going to bounce anywhere. I felt like I was sinking. And the advice to “just be positive” felt not only out of touch — it felt like an insult.<div data-youtube-video=""><iframe width="640" height="480" allowfullscreen="true" autoplay="false" disablekbcontrols="false" enableiframeapi="false" endtime="0" ivloadpolicy="0" loop="false" modestbranding="false" origin="" playlist="" progressbarcolor="white" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vT5v_-8lCq8" start="0"></iframe></div><h1 id="7ada3330-bfd8-41b3-a6a2-c5772148930e" data-toc-id="7ada3330-bfd8-41b3-a6a2-c5772148930e">Here's Why It Doesn't Work</h1>There’s a science behind why that fake-it-til-you-make-it attitude can actually keep you stuck.Your brain has something called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). Think of it as your internal Google search bar. It shows you evidence to support what you already believe.So if you believe that:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">You’re stuck,</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Things never work out for you,</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Or that people like you don’t succeed…</li></ul>Then your brain will filter the world to match that belief. You’ll only notice the setbacks, the rejections, the closed doors — and ignore the tiny wins, the possibilities, or the progress.That’s why positive thinking doesn’t stick. Because unless you change the underlying belief, your brain will keep serving you the same tired narrative.<h1 id="24b45621-bf9d-42b5-a73d-0bd48f885a24" data-toc-id="24b45621-bf9d-42b5-a73d-0bd48f885a24">What Actually Works? Small, Real Decisions.</h1>Here’s the truth that most mindset coaches won’t tell you:Change isn’t one big “Aha!” moment.It’s a slow burn — made up of quiet, uncomfortable, real-life decisions.For me, that meant stopping myself from letting my environment dictate my mood. It meant questioning my own stories. And eventually, it meant packing up and moving from the UK to Australia — not to escape, but to reset.And no, I’m not suggesting you book a one-way ticket to the other side of the world.But I am saying this: You can’t build a new life through the same lens that created the old one.Something has to shift — and that something is usually your willingness to interrupt the thought loop that says,“This is just who I am.” “This is my lot.” “This is how life is.”<h1 id="d8c323a2-b844-4f2c-ac00-fe47c502818d" data-toc-id="d8c323a2-b844-4f2c-ac00-fe47c502818d">The Most Powerful Belief? That Beliefs Can Change.</h1>My mentor once said:“The most dangerous belief you can have is that beliefs are hard to change.”Because if you believe that, your brain will serve up every reason why you can’t.But here’s the good news: it works both ways.When you begin to believe that change is possible, your brain starts noticing new paths. New connections. New ways of thinking and behaving.That’s the power of questioning the story.And the best part? You don’t need to feel ready. You just need to decide you’re willing to try.That alone is enough to start creating a crack of light in the wall you’ve been staring at.<h1 id="a5caea4a-9ef7-44d1-b975-76e85fdc7c84" data-toc-id="a5caea4a-9ef7-44d1-b975-76e85fdc7c84">Want to Build Confidence and Connect with People — Even If You Feel Awkward?</h1>If you’ve ever walked into a room and thought:“What do I say?” “I hate small talk.” “I wish I could start a conversation without feeling like an idiot…”I’ve got something that’ll help.🎁 Get my FREE Break The Ice training — a 15-minute crash course on confidently connecting with anyone, anywhere.Inside, I’ll walk you through: ✅ My simple 3-step formula that works in any setting ✅ How to feel natural (not scripted) in conversation ✅ The mindset shifts that take you from invisible to impactfulIt’s the same approach I’ve taught to leaders, professionals, and entrepreneurs across the globe — and it’s completely free.👉 Click here to access the training instantly: <a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz</a><h1 id="673c61b2-e76d-4d11-a9d0-37133a0b5ab1" data-toc-id="673c61b2-e76d-4d11-a9d0-37133a0b5ab1">Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind. You’re Just Running Old Code.</h1>If your inner voice has been telling you you’re behind in life, lazy, or not good enough — please know this:That voice isn’t you. It’s just the brain repeating a script it learned years ago.You get to decide if you keep living by it.You’re not broken. You’re not stuck forever. But you do need to choose a different response — even if it’s just a small one.Because that tiny decision? That’s where real progress starts.<h1 id="4f7abb40-ab6f-4a27-9485-8b5d83c1e020" data-toc-id="4f7abb40-ab6f-4a27-9485-8b5d83c1e020">Let’s Keep This Conversation Going</h1>If this article resonated with you, I’d love for us to stay connected. I share weekly tools, mindset shifts and practical strategies to help professionals, leaders, and entrepreneurs create a life less ordinary — one decision at a time.🔗 Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks"> @anthonylayespeaks </a> 🔗 YouTube:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/@anthonylaye"> @anthonylaye </a> 🌐 Website:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://www.anthonylaye.com">www.anthonylaye.com</a><h1 id="842529c1-334c-4441-852b-b336fcc11de0" data-toc-id="842529c1-334c-4441-852b-b336fcc11de0">Looking for a Speaker or Team Experience?</h1>If you’re an event organiser looking for an engaging speaker who brings real-world insight (with a side of humour) — or a business leader wanting to improve your team’s communication and mindset — let’s chat.As a keynote speaker and thought engineer, I help teams shift their thinking, build confidence, and communicate with real clarity. The results? Stronger cohesion, better performance, and a team that actually enjoys showing up.I also run a mastermind for professionals and entrepreneurs ready to take their life and business to the next level — no fluff, no hype, just deep growth.📩 Drop me a message via my website or LinkedIn to find out more.

Let’s just be honest for a second — positive thinking can feel like utter nonsense when life’s kicking you in the teeth.

Why Positive Thinking Feels Like a Lie (and What Actually Works)

The Positive Thinking Problem No One Talks About

What Actually Works? Small, Real Decisions.

The Most Powerful Belief? That Beliefs Can Change.

Want to Build Confidence and Connect with People — Even If You Feel Awkward?

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind. You’re Just Running Old Code.

Looking for a Speaker or Team Experience?

Learn how to grow and scale your online course business using our online course platform. EzyCourse blog is designed to teach you how to create and sell online courses.

Why Positive Thinking Feels Like a Lie (and What Actually Works)

Why Positive Thinking Feels Like a Lie (and What Actually Works)

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