It’s hard to admit, but I used to fake confidence.I’d walk into a room, stand up straight, use all the “right” hand gestures, and say everything I’d rehearsed in my head. For a moment, it felt like I was doing everything I was supposed to.But then something strange would happen.People would smile, nod, and even engage in conversation, yet deep down, I could sense they weren’t fully convinced. It was like they could see through the act.And honestly? So could I.If you’ve ever felt this—like no matter how much you try to look confident, you’re still second-guessing yourself—keep reading. Because the truth is, confidence isn’t something you put on. It’s something you unlock.<h1 id="36a29ed1-2ef5-4b1f-b4f1-2f25574410b8" data-toc-id="36a29ed1-2ef5-4b1f-b4f1-2f25574410b8">The ‘Fake It Till You Make It’ Myth</h1>We’ve all been told, Fake it till you make it.On the surface, it seems logical. If you act confident long enough, surely you’ll start to feel it, right?Wrong.Confidence isn’t about acting. If it were that simple, we wouldn’t see high-powered professionals, CEOs, or speakers who still get crippled by self-doubt before stepping on stage.Have you ever noticed that the harder you try to sound confident, the less confident you actually feel?That’s because confidence isn’t a performance. It’s not something you add—it’s something you uncover.And the reason so many people struggle with confidence is that they’re treating the symptoms, not the root cause.<div data-youtube-video=""><iframe width="640" height="480" allowfullscreen="true" autoplay="false" disablekbcontrols="false" enableiframeapi="false" endtime="0" ivloadpolicy="0" loop="false" modestbranding="false" origin="" playlist="" progressbarcolor="white" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4IalSmK6q78?si=9Svmh9HP2odhxMBy" start="0"></iframe></div><h1 id="f77d0420-22a6-46a1-b61a-f30277d172c6" data-toc-id="f77d0420-22a6-46a1-b61a-f30277d172c6">Why Confidence Feels So Difficult</h1>Imagine this: You’re walking into a networking event.You’ve planned your introduction. You’ve practised your handshake. You’ve even done a few “power poses” in the mirror before stepping in.But the second you approach someone, your breath tightens. Your shoulders stiffen. And your mind starts racing with thoughts like:"What if they’re not interested in what I have to say?" "Do I sound like I know what I’m talking about?" "Am I making the right impression?"Suddenly, all that preparation goes out the window.Why?Because before you speak, your body and mind are already communicating.If your internal wiring is set for hesitation, self-doubt, or uncertainty, no amount of external tricks will override it.It’s like painting over a cracked wall. Sure, it might look good at first, but the cracks will show soon enough.<h1 id="14c9c334-ce04-45d4-be5e-490936aa5d3a" data-toc-id="14c9c334-ce04-45d4-be5e-490936aa5d3a">Confidence Isn’t Built—It’s Uncovered</h1>Think back to when you were a child.You didn’t hesitate before speaking. You didn’t second-guess if you were “good enough” to take up space in a room. You just existed—boldly, unapologetically.That is, until you were taught not to."Be careful." "Stay quiet." "Don’t draw too much attention to yourself."Layer by layer, doubt starts to stack up. Hesitation creeps in. And over time, the real you gets buried beneath all these learned limitations.The truth? You don’t lack confidence. You’ve just been conditioned to suppress it.<h1 id="628fdbcb-3f24-4391-b635-741eabb93805" data-toc-id="628fdbcb-3f24-4391-b635-741eabb93805">How to Start Rewiring Your Confidence</h1>So, how do you stop second-guessing yourself and start showing up with real, unshakable confidence?<h2 id="c0492d0a-2946-4c0d-8416-494981223813" data-toc-id="c0492d0a-2946-4c0d-8416-494981223813">1. Stop Performing</h2>Confidence isn’t about impressing people—it’s about being comfortable in your own presence.Imagine walking into a room without overthinking. No second-guessing, no mental rehearsals—just being you.Feels different, doesn’t it?<h2 id="93827c98-1947-4edf-bfb3-ce6d356b2cf9" data-toc-id="93827c98-1947-4edf-bfb3-ce6d356b2cf9">2. Shift Your Focus from ‘How Do I Sound?’ to ‘How Do I Feel?’</h2>Most people focus on the external when trying to be confident—posture, voice, eye contact. But true confidence starts internally.Right now, take a deep breath in. As you exhale, let your shoulders drop.That? That’s your body shifting into its natural confidence state. No forcing. No pretending. Just allowing.<h2 id="7ba52ffa-d1ae-4dfd-a47f-f3ed487b188e" data-toc-id="7ba52ffa-d1ae-4dfd-a47f-f3ed487b188e">3. Work on Your Inner Wiring</h2>If you’re wired for doubt, hesitation, or fear of judgment, no amount of techniques will fix that.This is exactly why I created MIND Academy—a mastermind group designed to help high performers rewire their internal dialogue and master the way they communicate with themselves. Because when you stop trying to fix surface-level confidence and start working on the real issue—your mindset and internal wiring—everything changes.<h1 id="54f94dd4-c2f0-4c3a-8c1a-e0bd2449a1fa" data-toc-id="54f94dd4-c2f0-4c3a-8c1a-e0bd2449a1fa">Want to Start Conversations with Ease?</h1>If you’re ready to stop struggling with confidence and start owning every conversation, I’ve got something for you.I’m giving away FREE access to my Break The Ice training—a 15-minute masterclass where I teach my 3-step formula for starting conversations effortlessly in any setting.Whether it’s business networking, social events, or casual encounters, this will change the way you communicate.Click the link below to get instant access: 👇 <a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz</a><h1 id="29aec707-8923-4ffc-b5c8-2010636eb213" data-toc-id="29aec707-8923-4ffc-b5c8-2010636eb213">Let’s Connect</h1>If you found this article helpful, let’s stay in touch! Connect with me on my other channels for more insights on confidence, communication, and high-performance mindset:📲 Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks"> @anthonylayespeaks </a> 📺 YouTube:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/@anthonylaye"> @anthonylaye </a> 🌍 Website:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://anthonylaye.com">anthonylaye.com</a>And if you’re looking for a keynote speaker to inspire and empower your team, or if you’re an entrepreneur ready to start living a life less ordinary, let’s talk. I also run a mastermind program designed to help professionals break through limitations and level up in business and life.Get in touch—I’d love to hear from you.

Confidence isn’t about impressing people—it’s about being comfortable in your own presence.

The Biggest Lie About Confidence (And Why You Still Struggle)

Confidence Isn’t Built—It’s Uncovered

2. Shift Your Focus from ‘How Do I Sound?’ to ‘How Do I Feel?’

Learn how to grow and scale your online course business using our online course platform. EzyCourse blog is designed to teach you how to create and sell online courses.

The Biggest Lie About Confidence (And Why You Still Struggle)

The Biggest Lie About Confidence (And Why You Still Struggle)

Related Posts

How To Set Goals In Life (Without Burning Out Your Coaching Business)

Body Language for Coaches & Professionals: How to Command a Room Without Saying a Word

Too Busy to Breathe: How to Stay Calm & Clear When Life Gets Overwhelming

How to Stop Being Angry (Even When People Push Your Buttons)

Fear of Failure: The Silent Trap Holding High Achievers Back