Have you ever found yourself stuck in a conversation that feels like it’s going nowhere? Or worse—stood awkwardly in a room full of people, unsure of how to break the ice?You’re not alone.Most people assume that great conversationalists are born, not made. That you either have the gift of the gab or you don’t. But here’s the truth—conversation is a skill. And like any skill, you can learn it, improve it, and master it.Whether you're networking for business, socialising at an event, or just trying to connect with new people, the ability to start and hold great conversations can change everything.So, if you’ve ever thought, I wish I knew what to say or Why do my conversations always fizzle out?—keep reading. You’re about to learn exactly how to talk to anyone, anywhere, and actually enjoy it.<h1 id="f588aaac-5a4b-4f56-97a8-415f841695b6" data-toc-id="f588aaac-5a4b-4f56-97a8-415f841695b6">Why Most People Struggle with Conversations</h1>We’ve all been there—standing next to someone at an event, both clutching your drinks, waiting for someone to say something that isn’t about the weather.So, why do conversations feel so awkward sometimes?Here’s what’s really happening:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Overthinking – You’re worried about saying the wrong thing, so you say nothing.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Lack of energy – You mirror the other person’s dullness instead of bringing life to the conversation.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Fear of judgement – You assume people are analysing everything you say (spoiler: they’re not).</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Playing it too safe – You stick to generic, forgettable small talk.</li></ul>The good news? These problems have simple fixes.<h1 id="fa3fee07-cbca-4f72-ac0a-3a4a63a643e5" data-toc-id="fa3fee07-cbca-4f72-ac0a-3a4a63a643e5">1. The Art of Breaking the Ice</h1>Starting a conversation isn’t about having the perfect opener—it’s about making the other person feel at ease.Most people are waiting for permission to engage. And that permission? It starts with you.🔹 Use a ‘pattern interrupt’ – Instead of the standard “How are you?” try:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“Tell me something exciting happening in your world right now.”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What’s the most interesting thing you’ve done today?”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“Okay, be honest—do you actually enjoy these events, or are you here for the snacks?”</li></ul>🔹 Make it personal – If you’re at a networking event, instead of “So, what do you do?”, try:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What’s your favourite part of your job?”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What’s the most unexpected thing that’s happened in your career?”</li></ul>People love talking about themselves—but only when the question invites a good answer.<div data-youtube-video=""><iframe width="640" height="480" allowfullscreen="true" autoplay="false" disablekbcontrols="false" enableiframeapi="false" endtime="0" ivloadpolicy="0" loop="false" modestbranding="false" origin="" playlist="" progressbarcolor="white" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4hDooB5Kvbg" start="0"></iframe></div><h1 id="a440dbe6-fc40-4ab2-a3e9-797541d38a24" data-toc-id="a440dbe6-fc40-4ab2-a3e9-797541d38a24">2. How to Keep a Conversation Flowing</h1>Starting a conversation is one thing. Keeping it going? That’s where most people struggle.Ever had this happen?You: So, how’s your day been? Them: Good, thanks.…And now you’re scrambling for something else to say.The trick? Give them something to work with.Instead of: ❌ “How’s your day?” (which invites a dead-end answer)Try: ✅ “I had the strangest morning—accidentally left my coffee on the car roof and drove off. Ever done something like that?”✅ “Today’s been non-stop, but at least I didn’t embarrass myself like I did last week. Long story… but what about you?”By sharing a small piece of your world, you make it easier for the other person to engage and relate.<h1 id="77131a01-2bd8-42d1-bdfd-0149916f9c2a" data-toc-id="77131a01-2bd8-42d1-bdfd-0149916f9c2a">3. The 10% Rule: The Secret to Engaging Conversations</h1>Most people match the energy of the person they’re speaking to. But here’s a simple trick: Increase your energy by 10%.Not over-the-top. Not fake enthusiasm. Just slightly more expression, slightly more warmth.&nbsp;💡 Smile a little more – It makes you instantly more approachable. 💡 Use your hands when you talk – It adds energy to your words. 💡 Lean in slightly – It shows engagement and interest.It might feel small, but energy is contagious. Bring a little more, and you’ll naturally draw people in.<h1 id="73288d02-997d-47fb-8c7d-b844e277d40f" data-toc-id="73288d02-997d-47fb-8c7d-b844e277d40f">4. What to Do When the Conversation Stalls</h1>Awkward silences aren’t as awkward as you think. The problem? Most people panic and try to fill the gap with meaningless chatter.Instead, try this:🔹 Pause and own it – A few seconds of silence isn’t awkward unless you make it awkward. 🔹 Shift the focus – If you hit a lull, ask:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What’s something you’re excited about right now?”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“If you could have dinner with any three people, who would they be?”</li></ul>🔹 Use callbacks – Bring up something they mentioned earlier:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“You said you love travelling—where’s the most incredible place you’ve been?”</li></ul>A little curiosity goes a long way.<h1 id="17c47171-2a40-44ac-a428-02f26e6f8159" data-toc-id="17c47171-2a40-44ac-a428-02f26e6f8159">5. The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything</h1>One of the biggest mistakes people make? Assuming others aren’t interested in talking to them.Ever noticed how some people just seem magnetic? How they make friends easily, connect with anyone, and never seem awkward?It’s not because they’re better speakers. It’s because they assume people already like them.That confidence allows them to relax, be themselves, and make others feel comfortable too.So next time you start a conversation, instead of thinking: ❌ “What if they don’t like me?” Try: ✅ “They’re going to enjoy this conversation.”Because when you believe it, others will too.<h1 id="104c6633-9ab4-4bd4-bd73-2a15de919e26" data-toc-id="104c6633-9ab4-4bd4-bd73-2a15de919e26">Want to Make Conversations Effortless?</h1>Great conversations aren’t about luck or natural talent. They’re about learning simple techniques that make talking to people easy.That’s why I created a FREE 15-minute training to help you break the fear and connect with anyone.✅ Learn the Break The Ice 3-step formula ✅ Discover how to start conversations effortlessly in any setting ✅ Stop overthinking and start building real connectionsDownload it here for free 👇 <a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> 🔗 Click to get instant access</a><h1 id="0e908aa7-2458-4808-8c86-60b8ef6befa8" data-toc-id="0e908aa7-2458-4808-8c86-60b8ef6befa8">Final Thoughts</h1>Mastering conversation is about bringing the right energy, asking better questions, and assuming people want to talk to you.Try the tips in this article and watch how your interactions completely change.And if you found this helpful, let’s stay connected:📌 Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks"> @anthonylayespeaks </a> 📌 YouTube:<a target="_blank" href="https://youtube.com/@anthonylaye"> @anthonylaye </a> 📌 Website:<a target="_blank" href="https://anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://anthonylaye.com">anthonylaye.com</a>Oh, and if you’re a business looking to improve your team’s communication or an event organiser in need of an engaging speaker, let’s talk.As a keynote speaker and thought engineer, I help professionals and entrepreneurs break through limitations and create a life less ordinary.Let’s make an impact—get in touch today. 🚀

Most people assume that great conversationalists are born, not made. That you either have the gift of the gab or you don’t.

Social Skills 101: How to Start and Hold Great Conversations

Why Most People Struggle with Conversations

3. The 10% Rule: The Secret to Engaging Conversations

4. What to Do When the Conversation Stalls

5. The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Learn how to grow and scale your online course business using our online course platform. EzyCourse blog is designed to teach you how to create and sell online courses.

Social Skills 101: How to Start and Hold Great Conversations

Social Skills 101: How to Start and Hold Great Conversations

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