Anger is one of those emotions that can sneak up on you. One moment you’re managing fine, and the next, something small triggers you and suddenly, you’re overwhelmed with frustration. Whether it’s in the middle of a stressful workday, during a conversation with a difficult client, or at home when everything feels like it’s falling apart, anger often leads us to react in ways we later regret.I know this because I’ve been there—more than once.In this blog, I’ll share a practical approach to stopping anger before it spirals out of control, using lessons I’ve learned the hard way. If you’ve ever found yourself snapping at a colleague, sending a heated email, or saying something in a fit of rage that you can’t take back, this is for you.By the end, you’ll not only know how to manage your anger, but you’ll also understand how to regain control of stressful situations and prevent those moments of regret.<h2 id="be7a877c-f1b3-4ea8-95b1-aa7dceb9bebf" data-toc-id="be7a877c-f1b3-4ea8-95b1-aa7dceb9bebf">Why Do We Get Angry?</h2>Before we dive into the "how" of stopping anger, let’s talk about the "why." Why do we get angry in the first place?Anger is a natural response to feeling out of control. When we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or dealing with an unexpected challenge, our instinct is often to lash out. It’s a primal reaction—our brains go into fight mode.For high-performers, entrepreneurs, and busy professionals, this is especially common. We put ourselves under immense pressure to succeed, and when things don’t go as planned, frustration can build up. The phone rings too many times, deadlines pile up, and before you know it, you’re reacting rather than responding.In my experience, anger usually happens when we’ve lost control of a situation, or at least feel like we’ve lost control.<h2 id="d217acff-d14d-4375-91e3-f4296456bade" data-toc-id="d217acff-d14d-4375-91e3-f4296456bade">My Own Experience with Anger</h2>I used to run a joinery business in the UK. We made doors, windows, staircases—anything crafted out of wood. It was a small business with big challenges: managing projects, finding the right people, and, worst of all, trying to manage cash flow. There were days when everything seemed to go wrong.I remember one particularly stressful week when nothing was going right. The phone wouldn’t stop ringing, clients were chasing orders, and we had just made a window the wrong size. I was furious. The pressure got to me, and I did something I’m not proud of.I ripped the phone out of the wall and smashed it in pieces.Now, I’m sure at that moment, it felt like the right thing to do, but let me tell you—destroying a phone didn’t solve my problems. In fact, it only created more. I had to go out and spend £79 on a new phone, and more importantly, my team saw me lose control. I lost respect, not just for myself but from the people I was leading.That’s when I realised that reacting in anger was only making things worse. It wasn’t helping me, my business, or my relationships.<h2 id="6b47b7e9-c2e9-4480-b901-3499768f28e4" data-toc-id="6b47b7e9-c2e9-4480-b901-3499768f28e4">The Key to Stopping Anger: Creating a Pause</h2>Here’s what I learned: reacting in anger feels good for a moment, but it always leads to regret. So how do we stop ourselves from reacting in the heat of the moment? How do we regain control when anger is rising?The answer is surprisingly simple—you need to create a pause.The next time you feel that wave of frustration building, stop. Take a deep breath. Count to five. Sip some water. Do whatever you need to do to create just a little space between what’s triggering you and your response.This small pause is enough to shift your mindset from reaction to response. It gives you a moment to think clearly, rather than letting your emotions control you.<h2 id="069a66a3-63f5-408c-844d-30c5f8ad5aa0" data-toc-id="069a66a3-63f5-408c-844d-30c5f8ad5aa0">Why Reacting vs. Responding Matters</h2>So, what’s the difference between reacting and responding?<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Reacting is an emotional, gut-level action. It’s quick, unfiltered, and often regretted.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Responding is intentional. It’s about taking a breath, assessing the situation, and choosing the best course of action.</li></ul>When we react, we’re giving away our power. We’re letting the situation dictate our behaviour. But when we respond, we’re taking control. We’re choosing how we want to handle the situation, rather than being controlled by it.Think about the last time you reacted out of anger. Maybe it was snapping at a colleague or sending a frustrated email. How did it feel afterward? If you’re like most people, you probably wished you could take it back. But when you respond—when you give yourself that pause—you’re much more likely to handle the situation with calm and clarity, and without the regret that follows a hasty reaction.<h2 id="a84a58e9-255c-4182-acf2-77f2cfbc25bd" data-toc-id="a84a58e9-255c-4182-acf2-77f2cfbc25bd">The Long-Term Impact of Managing Anger</h2>Mastering the art of creating a pause before reacting has not only helped me manage my anger but also changed how I handle stress overall. This small change has had a massive impact on my relationships, my leadership, and my overall wellbeing.When you take control of your reactions, you:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Strengthen relationships: Whether at work or at home, how you handle pressure matters. When you respond calmly, you build trust and respect with those around you.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Improve decision-making: Reacting in anger often leads to poor decisions. But when you respond with intention, you can think clearly and make better choices.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Enhance your leadership: The best leaders aren’t the ones who never feel stressed—they’re the ones who handle it with grace and composure.</li></ul><h2 id="891598ff-7513-46c7-890a-48a811a5d424" data-toc-id="891598ff-7513-46c7-890a-48a811a5d424">How to Stop Being Angry: A Step-by-Step Guide</h2>Here’s my exact technique for managing anger and staying in control:<ol><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Recognise the Trigger: The moment you feel that anger building, acknowledge it. Recognise that you’re on the verge of reacting.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Create a Pause: Stop what you’re doing. Take a breath. Count to five. Sip some water (whatever you need to create space). Give yourself just enough time to pause before reacting.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Choose Your Response: Ask yourself, “How do I want to handle this situation?” Choose a response that aligns with your values and long-term goals.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Act with Intention: Once you’ve paused and chosen your response, take action calmly and thoughtfully.</li></ol>This approach may seem simple, but the more you practise it, the easier it becomes. Over time, you’ll find that you can handle even the most stressful situations without losing your cool.<h2 id="68461704-b7d5-484c-9fb1-64f7bdc2bf49" data-toc-id="68461704-b7d5-484c-9fb1-64f7bdc2bf49">Bonus: Unlock the Secret to Confident Communication</h2>If you’ve ever struggled with starting conversation, I’ve got something that can help.I’ve developed a simple 3-step formula called Break The Ice, designed to help you confidently connect with anyone, in any situation.Download my FREE 15-minute training, and you’ll discover how to:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Start conversations effortlessly, whether in business, social events, or casual encounters.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Break through the fear and make meaningful connections.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Communicate with ease and confidence, no matter the setting.</li></ul>Ready to get started? Click the link below to access the training and start improving your communication skills today! 👉<a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> Get Instant Access to Break the Ice</a><h2 id="45769207-07c0-4fbe-8bc7-d28135158ed1" data-toc-id="45769207-07c0-4fbe-8bc7-d28135158ed1">Final Thoughts: Take Control of Your Reactions</h2>We all get angry. We all have moments when the pressure builds and things go wrong. But how you handle those moments defines your leadership, your relationships, and your personal growth.By creating a pause, you can stop reacting and start responding. This small change will have a massive impact on your life, both professionally and personally.If you enjoyed this article, connect with me on social media for more insights and tips:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Instagram: <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://www.instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks/">@anthonylayespeaks</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">YouTube: <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://www.youtube.com/@AnthonyLaye/shorts">@anthonylaye</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Website:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.anthonylaye.com"> anthonylaye.com</a></li></ul><h3 id="412feb8a-16a0-4e22-b84c-31868bb67146" data-toc-id="412feb8a-16a0-4e22-b84c-31868bb67146">Interested in Working with Me?</h3>For businesses looking to improve their team's communication skills, or for event organisers seeking an engaging and insightful speaker, I’m here to help. As a keynote speaker, behaviour expert, and coach dedicated to developing confident, charismatic, high-impact leaders, I offer keynote speeches, training workshops, and even MC services to help your team thrive.Get in touch to learn more about how I can help your business or event.

Anger is one of those emotions that can sneak up on you. One moment you’re managing fine, and the next, something small triggers you and suddenly, you’re overwhelmed with frustration. 

How to Stop Being Angry: A Practical Guide to Managing Stress and Staying in Control

The Key to Stopping Anger: Creating a Pause

How to Stop Being Angry: A Step-by-Step Guide

Bonus: Unlock the Secret to Confident Communication

Final Thoughts: Take Control of Your Reactions

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How to Stop Being Angry: A Practical Guide to Managing Stress and Staying in Control

How to Stop Being Angry: A Practical Guide to Managing Stress and Staying in Control

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